Standing Up

3 05 2011

Hi, my name is Kati and I am addicted to approval.  That’s right, I really do believe everybody really DOES have to like me.  I guess admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery right?    I read a FANTASTIC blog that was pretty much written directly TO me the other day:  In Over Your Head

Here was the biggie for me:  When people don’t like you, nothing really happens.

It’s not that I’m ready to go start thumbing my nose at what the world thinks – but I really do need to start worrying a little less about what folks are thinking of me and a little more about what I need/want, what I really believe in and what my family thinks/ needs or wants.

I have to throw in ‘what I believe in’ because I am a still a big believer that the whole me me me movement is crap and folks need to give a lot more and take a lot less – but I don’t think that idea is at odds with the idea that not everybody needs to like me.  (see, it’s even hard for me to type it’s so ingrained in my being.)

I took a big step today in my new quest to not worry so much about what folks think of me.  I called my daughter’s school and asked them to make an exception for her in next years’ course work.  (I’m such a rebel.)  I will not make this a post about yay me, my kid is smart, but I will say that my daughter is freaky smart.  I was not freaky smart in school.  When folks start talking about taking calculus and reading this book and doing physics – I did none of that.   I was in that ‘maybe she’ll go to community college’ group where your English teacher reads Shakespeare to you instead of trying to teach you to read it yourself.

This has shaped me into someone that is determined that my daughter make the most out of her gift of intelligence and that my son not be left to be read to in the ‘at grade level’ abyss when there is seems to be a big disparity between his intelligence and his ability to read and understand instructions, spell and write.

When we got the elective choices for 7th grade I was disappointed to see A’s language options were Spanish 1 part 1 (an entire year) and French 1 part 1 (also an entire year).  She took Spanish 1 part 1 in 4th grade before we moved.  I think languages is one area that she is particularly gifted and is one path that she has talked about as a career option.  And so, I called the school and asked that my 7th grader be either allowed to take 8th grade Spanish or 8th grade Latin.  I don’t know if they will allow it, but I stopped worrying that the school will label me as a ‘pushy’ or ‘trouble making’ mom and asked.

Next up, finally insisting that the school actually go through and test my 3rd grade son for a learning disability instead of another year of ‘observation.’

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6 responses

3 05 2011
Melissa

GOOD FOR YOU! Standing up is important. I’m going through something similar related to one of my kids. Missed a lot of school due to illness and I finally said ENOUGH when faced with the piles and piles of makeup work – most of it looked like busy work. Our school has been very helpful and I hope yours is, too. Stand up for those kids and stand up for you! 🙂

3 05 2011
oculartriathlete

Your kids sound like my sister and me. My sister is the freaky smart one and I was the ADD athlete. We had the benefit of private school that we were both in (sister through 8th then went to public) I graduated from that private school. High schools you have more options I guess in elementary/middle school at least you have honors/ap in high schools. Anyways. I’m glad you’ve pushed your school to make an exception because most schools just get set in their ways and actually teach down to the level of the lowest vs up to the highest. (our biggest issue with AL school and no child left behind).
As for your other child with learning disabilities…I’d say if they don’t get him tested you might consider doing it yourself. There might be some testing facilites around you that you didn’t even know existed. The place I got tested in also does child psychology and adult psychology/psychiatry. From my experience as a child and talking to my mother it was the best decision that was made. I think I was in 6th grade when I started because my father didn’t want me to be on meds and finally caved in then. They could observe for years. Honestly my mom said I went from middle to the low to an A student . As I grew up I learned my own strengths and weaknesses of how to make it work for me. But if it wasn’t for my mom pushing the envelope who knows where I’d be…I wouldn’t have been an optometrist that’s for sure

SO GOOD FOR YOU

3 05 2011
tribirdie

I hope you don’t mind me saying this… we are SO VERY ALIKE!! I’m really working on the “it’s okay for people to not like you” thing too 😀

and I will say also GOOD FOR YOU!!! Way to stick up for your kid and I would say you probably were polite and reasonable and therefore they probably think you are a rockstar mom, not pushy nor trouble making! Also, its our job to stick up for them, because they see us doing that, they will realize it’s okay to stick up for themselves! Politely and respectfully but forcefully. We are breaking the cycle 😀

Sending you an email about the other stuff from my recent experience with my “bigger of the two” little guy!

3 05 2011
Ruthie

Well this family member loves you just the way you are!!! Love those kids of yours, so glad you are standing up for what they need! 🙂

8 05 2011
kate

insist, insist, insist. if you don’t, no one will. 3 years is too long for them not to test E and get him the resources he needs for his L.D. BE PUSHY. thank you. i hope

8 05 2011
kate

insist, insist, insist. if you don’t, no one will. 3 years is too long for them not to test E and get him the resources he needs for his L.D. BE PUSHY. thank you. i hope A can get the courses she needs so she isn’t bored.

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